


Lover

by youremyforevergirl



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F, Hurt, Lover - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-24 17:24:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20709779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youremyforevergirl/pseuds/youremyforevergirl
Summary: A collection of one shots based on Taylor Swift’s album “Lover”, I hope you enjoy!





	Lover

**Death By A Thousand Cuts**

_ “You know this isn’t working” Santana said, tears finally finding their way down her cheeks, she turned away hoping Brittany hadn’t noticed. “I will always love you Brittany” she said, a thick lump forming at the back of her throat, “You’re going to leave me behind?” Brittany mumbled quietly, not daring to look up into Santana’s eyes, that was the thing that finally shattered Santana’s heart, she pulled Brittany in for one last kiss. As they pulled apart her eyes remained closed, she felt the lump in her throat grow bigger. She grabbed her bag and left Brittany behind, alone in their choir room as she returned back to New York. _

Santana woke up, instantly remembering how she had ended up sprawled across the kitchen floor of her apartment, hugging a bottle of Jack Daniels, she winced as she got up, the dizziness washing over her face. She got drunk a lot now, but it was never enough because the morning would come and the pain would still be there, Brittany wasn’t hers anymore and the possibility of ever being hers again was so far out of her reach it hurt. Rachel and Kurt had tried to be as supportive as possible, providing Santana with as much comfort as they could but most of the time she seemed so far gone, out of reach even for them.

Santana pulled herself back to her room, looking through the windows of the love she had lost, pulling the images off the wall, not daring to look at them any longer because it cut, it deep cut, it hurt like 100 cuts to see how happy they were and she knew she would never reach that fulfilment with anyone else, she knew she would never be able to recreate what she has with Brittany and it hurt. It hurt she had left Brittany behind, sometimes she would take the long way home just to visit the places she used to share with Brittany when she would visit New York, it wasn’t healthy but she felt as though it helped. Sometimes she would even catch herself whispering “Will everything be okay?” to the wind at the traffic lights, instantly feeling stupid for talking to her car. They were over and they had been for a total of 5 weeks, 5 days and 2 hours, not that she counting. Santana still found herself pouring words across her notepad, words about Brittany, her thoughts always being consumed by Brittany, she had broken the one good thing left and she ripped apart her heart in the process and that killed Santana, it cut deep almost like 500 cuts.

It was 9:30pm and Kurt and Rachel had suggested to go to a club and Santana didn’t even know why she agreed because she now was lost in a crowd of bodies, she was still searching for something to fill the empty feeling but she felt like alcohol was the only thing left to make her feel whole again. She searched through the empty club for hours, searching for any signs that everything would be okay but all she felt was pain, everywhere she turned she would see flashes of Brittany, every head of blonde hair reminded her of waking up to her soft embrace in the morning, the smell of alcohol reminded her of the Friday nights Brittany and herself would share after Cheerios practice, drinking to the early hours of the morning just enjoying being in the presence of each other, she missed Brittany.

She didn’t know if it was the cloudiness that flooded her brain but on her way home her fingers seemed to act before her brain could process, the beeping from her phone indicated that was no answer from whoever she had dialled, she whispered “I miss you” quickly before hanging up and pulling herself inside, falling to the couch before succumbing to her exhaustion.

Santana woke to her phone ringing, her chest hurt when she spotted the name at the top of her screen, she answered and pulled the phone to her ear, pulling in a sharp breath refusing to let it go, “Santana” she heard, a long pause following, a pause too long to hold her breath in any longer, she let it go sighing into the phone, awaiting another word from the other end of the phone, after a minute she heard a tiny “Hi” from the other end. The silence between her and the other end of the line stung, it felt like death by a thousand cuts.

“Brittany?” Santana asked, breaking the silence, “Hi ‘Tana” the other girl finally answered, “O-Open your door” she mumbled, earning a bundle of confusion from Santana, “W-What?” Santana asked, walking towards the front of the apartment before hearing the beeping in her ear as the line died, she placed one hand on the door handle and placing another flat hand on the door, she took a deep breath before opening the door, a pair of blue eyes greeted her on the other side, she felt herself overwhelmed with emotions as she looked at the girl in front of her, it felt like death by a thousand cuts but she continued to stand there staring at the girl hidden behind her own tears, “Hi” the blonde girl started before being pulled into Santana’s embrace, she sighed into the familiar touch, everything else seemed to fade away, the world once again felt okay again.


End file.
